The Pokey Puppy

Put simply, life can be rough.  It's definitely not always fair and sometimes it seems just plain sucky.  The worst things seem to happen suddenly, you don't expect what is to come and hope that it never does (or at least not for awhile).  These times in life leave me contemplating why things happen.  People tell me frequently, "Everything happens for a reason."  But is there really a reason for the bad things in life?  Do these things really make me a better person?  Quite personally, I don't think they do.  I think I would be just fine if my life was sunshine and roses all the time, but that's just not how it goes.

This weekend started off pretty great.  I was babysitting for this family down the street on Saturday morning and was looking forward to earning some pocket money.  A few hours after I got to their house, I was reading the two little boys books.  My phone started ringing and I asked the little boy if it was okay if I answered it.  He of course said no, but I ignored him anyway.

Love you, Henry

I wondered why my mom was calling me - she knew where I was - but I didn't think much of it.  On the other end of the phone something in my mom's voice sounded off.  I could tell that she was trying not to sound sad and keep it together.  My mom tells me that she took our dog, Henry, to the vet and his wound (he was bitten a little while ago) had become really infected.  I thought maybe she was going to tell me that he had to get surgery or something, but then she tells me that it was decided that he was going to be put down.  In just a couple hours.  Henry had some previous health issues including a heart murmur, being blind in one eye, practically deaf, and he had been losing weight and having accidents almost daily.  For these reasons, operating on him was riskier and wasn't totally worth it.

I was trying to choke back my tears but couldn't stop them from falling down my face.  She asked if I wanted to see him before he was put down.  Of course I wanted to see him and say goodbye one last time. Unfortunately after hearing this depressing news I had to continue babysitting.

The little boy looks at me from his perch on the couch and says, "Camille, I told you not to answer the phone."

Quite frankly, I was speechless.  I so obviously had tears coming down my face, and after all I am in charge of him, that I did not know what to say.  He eventually asked me why I was crying and I told him everything was alright as I read the books through my tears.

A couple hours later the parents got back and I went home.  As I was walking up the road to my house I started crying once again.  I couldn't believe that another one of my childhood pets was going to die.  It was just hard for me to fathom the idea of never hearing the bell on his collar jingle as he trotted through our house or seeing him curled up in his paisley dog bed ever again.

Hank and Rubes being friendly

Once I got home I found him lying in the sun on our kitchen floor.  I bent over and started stroking him.  He nuzzled into my pets and rolled over so I could scratch his tummy.  Henry and I did that for many minutes and it broke my heart because I could tell he knew he was going to die soon.  He just seemed resigned and was soaking up the last minutes of his time with us.

A little while later we all said our final goodbyes before my mom took him to the vet.  Even though my dogs are not my favorite pets, I still love them so much.  Nobody deserves to die, but it is incredibly hard to decide when it is the right time.  We didn't know how Henry was truly feeling.  He could have been suffering immensely or maybe he just felt like a tired old man, we don't know.

I miss that cute face

My point is that life is precious.  You never know when it'll end and when someone will be taken away from you.  All of us need to appreciate every moment we are given because while memories are great, they don't last forever.  Regardless of if it is a person or an animal, death is unfortunate because you make such wonderful memories with them and they personally will not make you laugh anymore or snuggle into you or kiss you goodnight ever again.  It hurts for much longer than any other type of pain.  As I'm sitting here writing this, days later, I can't help but cry at what was lost.  My family is just not the same, but in the end, we'll be okay.

Thanks for the wonderful memories, Henry.  You were such a wonderful dog who brought so much joy to our family.  We all miss you

xoxo

Camille